The sun is setting on the last day of April, 2005. Hard to believe. Here comes May. Whew! Let's remember to enjoy every day of the month. Easier said than done, I guess.
Now some general thoughts, observations and reports:
WAKING UP JOE: Here's the latest and it came early for Find-a-Pet, the free service that helps people find lost, strayed and stolen critters. Joe Cranford says his phone rang at 4 a.m. Saturday and on the other end was a guy in Highland Park calling to report that someone had just invaded his backyard and stolen four koi out of his fishpond.
Joe says this is a first for Find-a-Pet. If anyone knows the whereabouts of these fish, call Find-a-Pet at 214 827 4357.
Remember, rustling is a crime in Texas -- even if it is fish rustling.
The thing is, some of these koi, while they are a type of carp regarded as "ornamental" fish, can become sort of affectionate. People have been known to sit on the edge of their koi ponds and feed the fish by hand. And the fish come when "called."
Besides, being a thief is just plain wrong. No matter what time of day. It's a 24-hour crime.
AN EXPLANATION: We were driving along U.S 67 south of Dallas and spotted a medical office building called "Comfort Plaza." It has a dentist and a podiatrist and my funspouse Martha suggested such a combo obviously treats hoof and mouth disease.
ABOUT THAT RUNAWAY BRIDE: Honestly, any of you who have been divorced at least once, don't you sort of wish you'd bought a bus ticket instead of going ahead with the wedding that first time? (Ah, repeat: "If I'd known then, what I know now...)
If I were Greyhound, I'd set up a promotion so that every time someone gets engaged, they get the "Runaway Fiancé Discount" on a bus ticket out of town.
If America had more bus rides, we'd have fewer divorces, I'll betcha.
I'm sure this poor woman will face horrible things from people who think she needs to be punished for making up a story. I don't know -- probably she just snapped. I can understand that.
I would, however, pay good money to be at her next family Thanksgiving. Can you image the snitty ol' aunts -- the ones who never have anything good to say about anybody? "Well, Jennifer, we didn't know whether to set a plate for you or not." Oh, this poor would-be bride is going to suffer enough.
Sometimes, when you're under immense pressure, you just snap -- and 600 guests and 28 attendants is immense pressure.
Besides, we don't know the whole story -- we're just spectators to the aftermath of what set her flight in motion.
Some will say she ruined her life by taking off. Maybe she'd have REALLY ruined her life by not taking off. A bus trip can be over in a couple of days and you'll remember it forever but you might never get on another bus. A bad marriage may last a lot longer than a couple of days and, man alive, will you remember it forever! I've ridden many buses and never gotten a scar for life. You can imagine, then, where I got all my deep scars.
Fortunately, I now have a really smart patientspouse, Martha. We've been married so long that it feels like the only marriage I've ever had. And, I guess, it really is the only marriage I ever had. Martha's a pretty swell person. She has a great sense of humor and I wouldn't be surprised some day to come home and find that she'd bought me a one-way bus ticket to Anywhere Else, USA. It would give her a chance to use one of her favorite expressions: "Here's your hat; what's your hurry?"