While running errands today I was listening to some radio station and I heard an ad for a “term life” policy that, the announcer said, “guarantees your money back if you don’t die.”
I’d like to take a shot at qualifying for that.
My afternoon errands included taking some clothes to the cleaners. Believe it or not, that sentence introduces a dog story.
Among the items going to the cleaners was an old pair of dress pants that, since I’d outgrown them during office stress last year, had been lazily stored in a hamper. One leg of those trousers had been draped haphazardly over the edge of the hamper -- probably for months. And, apparently, Annie the puppy had taken a fancy to the cuff on that leg and had nibbled it and nibbled it until it was pretty ragged and the leg was easily no longer than mid-calf.
I told my seamstressspouse Martha about the nibbling and she asked, “Is it something we can repair just by cutting the legs off and hemming them higher?" “Sure,” I replied, “If you want sew elastic bands to them so I can wear them to Oktoberfest.”
When you haven’t had puppies around for a while, you forget how the little rascals notice everything and try to eat it, too.
Meanwhile, it is dreary and raining and, frankly, I’m wondering if there are other multi-dog households who have hit on a good way to keep dogs from tracking mud back into the house after a “walk.” Is there a surefire way to stop this relocation of soil other than falling to your knees, grabbing the dogs and toweling the paws until the dogs yelp to be set free?
I even bought a new mop to handle November’s rain and, son of a gun, if I don’t think it would be easier to wait until spring and simply hose out the house.
If I ever get enough money to build a house, I’m going to make it all tile on the inside -- walls, floors, ceilings, and I’m going to have hose spigots in every room so that at the end of the day, I’ll simply turn on the hose and blast the place clean.
That may be extreme and it could be tough on the cats’ nerves. But a fellow can dream, can’t he? I’m getting a little weary of keeping the Acme Mop Company in business. Of course, if the sun ever shines again, I’ll be OK. Must be that SAD thing..…Seasonal Affective Disorder? No, SADD (Some Awfully Dirty Dogs….)
Ah, but they’re so sweet….and, mercifully, the older dogs simply spot the rain, then refuse to go outside. They return to their “nap” areas and wait until the storm passes. The younger dogs are learning to have enough sense to come in out of the rain.
If you have tips for keeping floors clean in multi-dog households during extended periods of rainfall, please e-mail me at
[email protected]. We’ll share the tips with other exasperated humans. Or start a "Friends of Moppers" support group.
