Relax the nose

What a beautiful day!

I took Hammy, the LabraDane,  outside for a brief walk and he was interested in sniffing the grass and the flowerbed and considering just how he could arrange to get me distracted while he crept onto the front porch and sampled the leftovers from the feral cats' breakfast.

Hammy's a big rascal. The vet says he needs to trim off some poundage. Obviously this is a dog who has grown to reflect his human. We will, of course, consider beginning a fitness program.

The morning sun was a nice thing to see. It felt good on my nearly translucent arms. I was only out there for about 15 minutes, but I'm starting to worry that it was long enough to trigger some sort of bizarre skin condition that will send me into a cave to keep me from transforming into Lizard Man.

It sure was bright. Made me remember that last year I broke my prescription sunglasses and need to invest in another pair.

I don't know how I broke them. Could have been from stress -- I was under a lot of stress last year and stress causes agitation along the bridge of the nose.

Oh, I made that up, but I'd be rich by sundown if I were on a talk radio show and solemnly announced, "To enhance the quality of their lives and to remove ASU (aggravated stress units) from the taut bridge of the nose, Americans should gently apply 'Rhinolaxer' relaxation cream. Remember, when it comes to a relaxed existence, an untensed nose is vital."

Rhinolaxer -- ask for it by name.

Take some deep breaths and enjoy the beautiful day. It's all yours. Relax your nose before the spring pollen gets here.