Oh, my, former FBI guy Mark Felt says he's Deep Throat. The Washington Post's Bob Woodward confirms it. And now, just when we were wondering what talk radio would have to discuss while awaiting the Michael Jackson verdict, there's the answer.
Too bad Saturday Night Live's season ended two weeks ago.
To borrow from the 1970s, "Our long national nightmare is revived anew."
Wow.
I just hope that tomorrow he'll admit that he's been helping Elvis live in hiding and that the King will return from working at a donut shop in Fort Worth for his "REVIVED: The King's Comeback in the 21st Century Tour."
Then the Circle of Odd Life will be complete. The great mysteries are answered: We know who shot J.R. and the ID of Deep Throat.
Of course, based on my years of journalistic observation, I never had a doubt that Mark Felt was Deep Throat. And I'm sure other journalists will be telling you the same thing. Politicians, too. Heck, yeah, by midnight someone will be saying, "Oh, this was an open secret in Washington. We all knew Mark Felt was Deep Throat."
AT FIRST BLUSH: Sure, it feels like Monday, but look at it this way: It's not.
If you're a traditional Monday-through-Friday person, this is a four-day week. If you're like the rest of us -- something's going on every day -- well, it's a Tuesday with an extra helping of "catch up."
HERE ARE SOME REMINDERS:
DOG DAY AFTERNOON: Operation Kindness' Dog Day Afternoon starts at 9 in the morning on Saturday! It is, perhaps, the nation's only afternoon in the morning. But it also is, perhaps, the nation's most entertaining afternoon in the morning.
Get there early to participate in the 9 a.m. "Honor Walk" (There are prizes for raising money via pledges -- check out the details at www.operationkindness.org.)
After the Honor Walk, there'll be agility and working demonstrations with dogs. The celebrity hosts are Jack Fink of Channel 11 (KTVT-TV) and Christina McLarty of UPN 21's Daily Buzz.
And, of course, the big attraction (other than hundreds of people and dogs gabbing about each other) is the schedule of contests. "Barkin' and Bobbin'" for tennis balls, "Ears to Die For," Frisbee toss, pet tricks, best costume and doggie bulldozer -- that's a good one. In doggie bulldozer, you ask your dog, who you've trained to not knock stuff over, to walk through plastic bottles and knock them ALL over. Sometimes the big dogs are like ballerinas instead of bulldozers.
And there's a new contest this year for Shelter Alumni that will spotlight shelter-rescue dogs and judge them on "smile" and "poise." My mannerlyspouse Martha and I have been asked to help judge that one. We've been practicing on our dogs -- they've got "smile" down pretty good, but "poise" is a problem, especially when a stranger walks past their posts at the picture window.
Expect to see a lot of interesting dogs at this event. There'll be all types. And they'll all be accompanied by interesting people, too -- people who have a place in their hearts for animals that needed rescuing or animals that simply needed a good home.
You might even see some dogs that have rescued some people -- maybe not from dire straits, but from loneliness. And, I guess, that's how they got the label "man's best friend."
MAC'S BIG PARTY: Don't forget, the Metroplex Animal Coalition's Second Annual Artists for Animals Fundraiser is 5:30-7:30 p.m. Sunday, June 5, at Iris Restaurant. Proceeds (tickets are $50 each) benefit the Patt Davis Memorial Spay/Neuter Fund. Food, art and animals -- an unbeatable combination. (Artists Jimmy Ellis and Rich Poling will be there to discuss their work -- and your animals!) Go to www.metroplexanimalcoalition.com for tickets. The folks at Iris love animals. So, expect to have a good time with the good food. And remember that animals benefit from your evening.
WORKING WITH HORSES -- AND KIDS: Our buddy Dan Kirkland, who has more brainy letters behind his name than most people dare dream about, has long used horses in his counseling work. (www.kirklandclinical.com)
He still has some slots open on Saturday June 11 for a new session called "Taking the Reins: Parenting Without Fear or Intimidation." The idea is to use horses "to develop parenting strategies, coping skills and processes to help you connect with our child." (The cost is $125 per parent. The session -- no kids will be there -- lasts from 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. For more details, call 972-231-2555 or e-mail [email protected].)
I'm an unlearned person, but even I know kids can be a stubborn as horses -- and on a bad day, as stubborn as mules. Sometimes when you have a stubborn adult and a stubborn kid, well, it's just too much stubborn in one place.
Big as they are, there's a certain gentleness to horses that, I guess, we can learn from if we'll pay attention. An ounce of persuasion can avoid a ton of frustration.
EVERYBODY HAS ONE: My funspouse Martha and I found time for an afternoon movie Sunday and went to Irving Mall -- we have no theaters in Oak Cliff, you know.
Anyway, as we're leaving the mall, Martha points out a storefront with a sign that reads "The Opinion Store" and then she says something like, "There's the perfect place for you to work." It did have a "Help Wanted" sign in the window. I'm not sure what kind of help they wanted, but I could offer an opinion.
