PARANORMAL, MYSTICAL, EERIE NAPPERS -- OR, JUST CATS DOING WHAT CATS DO?

There are suggestions that cats have nine lives. There are suggestions, also, that a home is a housecat’s natural haunt, so to speak. Cue the spooky music. Wait, we don’t have any. Just hum the theme from The Ghost and Mr. Chicken as you consider the possibility that, at our house, all cats are normal. Maybe.
We’re not sure how The Handbook of Mystical Cats & Puzzling Events defines “normal.”
For this edition of Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap, we’re attempting to build up readership boost through the use of these words: paranormal, poltergeist, ghostly, apparitions, temporal warp, Martian sand masters and this eerie phrasing, “eliminate the income tax.” Kidding about that last one — doesn’t have a ghost of a chance.

What we have there is a photograph of our happily napping cat The Senator. Below him, there is a cat of a different color, i.e., a shiny-eyed apparition who suddenly appeared out of nowhere while The Senator napped.

The Senator, possibly a 14- or 15-year-old who mysteriously materialized on our front porch, is flat out on a bare shelf of my literatespouse Martha’s reading cabinet. Usually there are books stacked there. 
That eerie countenance with the mystically glowing eyes is young Simon, about 2. He never heard of Woodstock or The Altamont Speedway Free Festival or The Flying Burrito Brothers. I mention those to explain why he has glowing eyes and not kaleidoscope eyes. Also, he thinks “counterculture” refers to dogs.

Nevertheless, ambitious to be a proper feline meditator, he’s studying the skills of The Senator. He has enrolled in The Senator’s college-level course, “The Active Path To Inactivity —A Life In Office.” It’s easy to enroll. Just offer a bribe — ooops! I mean, a donation.

Speaking of clairvoyance, The Senator says he knew I was going to write about the eyeglow photograph. Also, he is a practitioner of psychokinesis — roughly defined, that’s the ability to make objects move by using your mind. I frequently will have him sitting in my lap and he will suddenly begin staring at my wrist and, inexplicably, I will move just as he decides it would be fun to bestow a love-nip on my forearm. 
Yes, he is a telekinetic cat. He is also a cool cat who has taken young Simon on as a candidate for the feline force for good, the NapKnighters. May the purrs be with you.
The other photos show Simon meditating behind my computer screen — for a while I thought the “ommm” was a bad fan in the cooling unit. And, in that darker photo, you may be able to see him activating his bio FCD, i.e., an enhanced gland known as the Feline Cloaking Device that allows him to disappear under the right circumstances. And that other photo of The Senator? That’s him in his Time Tunnel — he will enter it, become motionless for a brief time and emerge into a whole different world on the other side of the tunnel.
 He only uses his power for good, he tol me.
[REMINDER:As you are reading this, send telepathic messages to our clandestine reception site. You’ll know what ESP code to use. Also, send your sleeping/napping critter photos and the story of the animals to d[email protected] and we’ll post the tales in Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap on readlarrypowell.com. Contemplate how the love of your cat may influence others to adopt a homeless Earth feline— same dynamic for your terrestrial dog. And you may be helping insomniacs feel confident that they, too, can stretch out on a flat board and get some sleep. Enjoy this appropriate closing music.
—- Offer slumbertips or stock advice by clicking on ‘comment’ below or by emailing [email protected] or by sending your telepathic signals to me at -- well, those of us with "the gift" know where the router leads, right? —