[Welcome to Autumn Time Change Weekend and a bit of wisdom from our most esteemed feline, The Senator, addressing the "Art of Slumber" for Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap.]

HOW TO DEFEAT
THE DEMON OF INSOMNIA
By The Senator
Senior Advisor to the General Population
Greetings, fellow sleepers and those who wrestle with the challenge.
Getting to enjoy the mythical "good night's sleep" has proven to be a challenge in the 21st Century.
No need to get political or international, but you get my drift. Decibels and content echo throughout the nights.
For this edition of Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap, we will focus on cats.
Why? Two reasons: (1) Foremost, I am a cat and (2) I have yet to encounter a cat who has insomnia.

Being challenged by a human's insomnia, however, can be vexing. You'll be out like a light in your favorite living room chair and, suddenly, some  human will stagger into the room, grab the TV remove and shake the chair until you get out of it. Then he or she will leave the room and go to the kitchen. When you're comfortable again, they return with something that, apparently, can only be chewed in the manner of a hungry horse -- no offense to horses. So, what is the best way for a cat to sleep.
 That photo of me on a delightfully speckled blanket shows the proper, traditionally artistic way to curl up and snooze.
Humans, pay attention: You will need to be limber. Warm up with back bends and side-straddle-hops (as the military used to call jumping jacks, I've been told). Just google "side straddle hops" and you'll have a selection of bi-pedal choices. No cat does side straddle hops. Dogs are bewildered by the concept.

I have included photos of my latest student in the Lost Art of Enjoyable Sleep. 
He is a young man named Stevie Ray Treeboy. He was found in Oak Cliff (Stevie Ray Vaughan's home neighborhood). At the time the 5- or 6-week-old kitten was gripping a flimsy limb in a Mimosa tree -- he was about 5 feet off the ground and yelling -- not for help. Just yelling.
The human reached out and grabbed him and that's how Stevie Ray became a "Kitten of the Manor."
I, of course, arrived more than a decade ago by walking onto the front porch and being invited in for a discussion of America's future.
 Frankly, I'd been worn out by my Senatorial experiences and gladly took on the position of Secretary of Wisdom in the household cabinet. 
Now, you see here that I am curled up and sleeping just perfectly -- my paws are obscured, my luxurious tail reaches to the point of my cute little cat nose and keeps it warm while I drift away in the "Nocturnal Curl." Learned that from disgruntled former sled dogs one year when I was protesting that race in the snow and ice of Alaska. A Senator can get tickets to just about anything -- still working on the latest Abba ticket.
Back to my slumber: I am an efficient sleeping machine. [SENATOR FYI: If you do not have a tail of appropriate napping length, remember, we sell custom-created Faux Feline Furfalls that I designed to help humans simulate the proper sleeping attitude nightly. All you need is Velcro and the courage to "dress feline." $50 each or two matched tails for $100. Not available for use on millionaire spaceflights -- some sort of intellectual rights dispute.]
Regarding the Nocturnal Curl: I encourage all cats to sleep in this manner -- it is the pose that artists have favored since cat-themed holiday cards were invented.
This next photo was snapped during some event on television -- not sports or news. Perhaps Young Sheldon, as I recall. Set in Texas, you know. 
At any rate, this photo, taken by my illustration aide Larry "Outtafocus" Powell, is focused over the back of my handsome head -- you'll note that I have the outline of another cat's head on the back of mine. Shadow of The Other Cat, I call it.
 As you can see in this photo, I am crammed between the heft of my aide and the stretch of young Stevie Ray.
 I have lectured him repeatedly about the need to not sleep like a dog, but I have failed in my attempts to get him to rise to the level of a classically-educated feline.
 (That is my pal Dudley the Angel sleeping on a bare floor -- who knows why!)
Still, Stevie Ray and I do share something that humans can only wish they might find at 2 a.m. on a Sunday morning in November: The ability to go back to sleep. That is the strength to wake, then the opportunity to be as tranquil as is possible when a Sleeping Dog is Let Lie and a Napping Cat is Allowed to Nap. 
Thank you for your time. Remember: Stay limber, learn to purr gently and curl comfortably. Three steps to a restful night in the 21st Century. (That's Stevie Ray demonstrating that he almost knows the Cat Sign Language for "I have a question." Just a slight twist of his expressive tail and he'd have had it!)

With appreciation and I know I can count on you in November 2024,
The Senator

Enjoying My Campaign Plans
 And Napping For a Purpose

[LARRY REMINDER: Dear Readers, please send us photos of your dogs, cats, fowl, mammals, reptiles or amphibians slumbering so we can fill up our Holiday Season Weekends with stories of love and admiration for animals. Email photos of slumbering animals and their biographies to dallrp@aol.com. Tell us how much you love 'em. That'll help other people decide to give a home to animals. And it'll help insomniacs learn how to attach the Faux Feline Furfall and nap away!!!]
--- Offer slumbertips or skepticism by clicking on 'comment' below or by emailing dallrp@aol.com and putting "WAKE UP AND SMELL THE DECAF" in your subject line. ---