This waning April edition of Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap is a gift from one of our cats, a board-certified napper, Simon Mycroft Holmes.
He will provide tips associated with slumber whether you are a cat, a dog, a human or any other sort of being currently living on Planet Earth. File them under the label “Simon Says.”
SIMON STATEMENT." He writes,
“As a young cat, I learned quickly that a yawn is very important to the attitude of the napper. Thus, I cite these recent photographs — yes, that is me and I will refer to me as “cat.”
“In the first photo you see a cat at rest.
“Then you see a cat beginning a yawn from the prone position, then the yawn having reached total openness of the jaws, begins to reset. And you finally see me, a cat with a post-yawn attitude. FYI: I was an abandoned kitten, so I learned my sleeping gestures not from another cat, but from a human being. I live with two humans. Either one could have taught me to yawn.
“Moving along, you see an odd photographic artwork named ‘Simon & The Space Man’ — I am sitting in front of a sci-fi film on the big screen TV. If I had the slightest idea of what the film was, I’d give this actor full credit — as I do in most of my films.
“Our message in this examination of the pleasures of life is that your eyes are very important to your sleeping/napping attitude. The closed eyes beckon you to a relaxing nap — unless you are one of those cranky humans known as ‘insomniacs.’ That is a
Simon Says declaration.
“And I’m am now handing — ‘pawing' doesn’t work’ — this keyboard back to the guest host of Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap.”
With the help of this unidentified professional writer/editor, we move briefly to the Baby Kitten of 2017 — rescued from beneath front yard shrubbery after his multi-colored feral mother and his two siblings (both orange) moved and left him loudly squalling — his eyes had yet to open but his mouth was working fine!
That is that lonely kitten being bottle-fed by the readlarrypowell.com maternalfunspouse Martha. The bite-the-hand-that-feeds-me prone 4- or 5-week-old kitten was known, at the time, as Ivy Diane, in honor of (a) the flora under which he was found and (b) our pal Diane Combs, adoptive mom
to a famed miniature Dachshund known as “Larry the PR King.” A friendlier dog you may never find!
About two days after we named the kitten Ivy Diane, our vet, Dr. Vladi DeJong looked at the infant and said something like, “Congratulations, she’s a boy.” Thus Ivy Diane became Simon Mycroft Holmes. This has not disturbed his sleep patterns.
For example, you see him sleeping on a brightly lit iPad — he had been reading and nodded off.
And. below, he's napping on a piece of cable TV equipment while waiting for a phone call.
You’ve heard the old dog/flea line — track it back to American patriot Ben Franklin’s Poor Richard’s Almanak.
It goes “He who lies down with dogs gets up with fleas.”
We think that was an editing error and the second part of that should read that anybody who lies down with a dog will “get a comforting good night’s sleep and upon rising, can yawn magnificently throughout the day and enjoy every waking moment.”
Simon has been known to nod off with Porche Noel, our smallish, big-eared slumberdog. And, in the days when we had the pleasure and joy of living with our now-in-Heaven rescued Rottweiller Earl, Simon would snooze with him, too.
So, cuddling with a dog or a napping cat may help people. Everyone awakens refreshed. Caution: It may not work with all humans. But, as the American Experimental Insomnia Foundation motto reads, “What have you got to lose? Sleep?”
That's handsome Simon napping while sitting up on our living room cabinet display. He can sleep anywere. At any time. He was a free cat, you know. Just picked him up right out of the yard.
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[Dear Readers: PLEASE SEND PHOTOS AND BIOS of your slumbering critters to dallrp@aol.com and we will spotlight them in our long-running weekend feature Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap. You may be helping a family decide to adopt an animal. You may also be helping an insomniac get some sleep if he can just find the right dog or cat to bunk with.]
—- Offer advice or objection by clicking on ‘comment’ below or by emailing dallrp@aol.com and put ‘YOU’RE GETTING VERRRRY SLEEEPY’ in the subject line. —-