NO CHIMNEY? PERHAPS TECHNOLOGY CAN GET SANTA INTO A SAFE LANDING ZONE....

Is there a way to get Santa into the house if you have no chimney.
Odd topic for a weekend feature titled Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap.
Well, here’s the deal: I’m not quite at liberty yet to talk about the 1965 Christmas season when I worked selling women’s shoes at a major department store. It went out of business — decades later and nobody mentioned my time selling flats, pumps and heels. Ah, “Merry Christmas, enjoy the stockings.”
Three years ago we left a home with a chimney and moved into a house without one. This upset the tradition-minded dogs and cats. We explained that the new house, like the old house, had a sturdy roof and a perfect reindeer landing zone. Now, coincidentally, this is the weekend that is Christmas 2022 — Eve on Saturday, Day on Sunday — and this is our Christmas edition of our long-running feature, Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap. 
As you Dear Readers may recall, we’ve been featuring photos of animals in a new bed in the past few weekday editions.
And it is time for me to confess the Christmas spirit behind that new bed. 
Our Border Collie/Lab mix, Dudley the Angel, got a new bed (left) because my Yulespouse Martha is an "impulse shopper" — I’m evidence. You don’t think she invested much thought in marrying a run-down retread newspaper columnist/clown like me, do ya? Snap decision.
So, yeah, she spotted the bed as we walked through a store in search of washing machines. 
But, keen animal observer that she is, Martha knew Dudley the Angel would love it — he’d invoke the gentle sweet problem-solving spirit of Cary Grant’s character in The Bishop’s Wife or Denzel Washington’s character in The Preacher’s Wife. We’ve watched both films with the dogs and cats.
That first photo is Dudley sprawled out on and around his bed. Depending on his motivation and his speed when he hops into the bed, he could be inside the perimeter or he could be overflowing. He’s a Free-Range Snoozer.
Our girl of assorted ancestry, Porche Noel, found on the porch at Christmas years and years ago, had no problem crawling right in when she found the bed sans canine or feline.
And, then within a couple of Christmas season days, Stevie Ray, the young gentleman cat, found his way into the bed and was soon out like a light. Stevie Ray? Named in honor of two of the Three Wise Men … I’m kidding. He’s an Oak Cliff formerly feral kitten named in honor of the legendary Oak Cliff and global guitar star Stevie Ray Vaughan. Stevie Ray The Cat will use his finely tuned claws to pluck at my guitar’s strings if I leave it idle long enough during a “session.” He’s so proud of his prowess — takes great Pride and Joy. (Click HERE and crank up your Christmas speakers.)
So, there are three members of our household who have enjoyed a presence in that bed. 
That dog whose ear I caught curled up one evening, is, of course, our wonderfully sweet formerly unwanted Oak Cliff dog Wendy, full name Wednesday Louise Wagstaff Arden. Name honors the Irene Dunn character in the Cary Grant movie My Favorite Wife. I haven’t seen her flopping onto Dudley’s bed yet.
You’d think we have a dog named “Cary Grant,” wouldn’t you. Not yet. At my level of gentlemanly sophistication, I don’t need the pressure of living up to Cary Grant.

Back to Wendy. She prefers the couch. Why? She growled, “If that Elf comes down off the shelf, he’s mine. I’m sick of his staring.”

So, how’d we explain how Santa arrives if we have no chimney. Technology. 
We told the dogs and cats that if a house has no chimney, the sleigh still lands on the roof and Santa slides into the house by shrinking himself and traveling at the speed of light through the TV cable. He hops out of the TV screen and re-sizes quietly and invisibly. All he needs is a fluffy bed for his front-of-the-TV landing zone.
What? You’re probably going to tell me that it’s clear that Martha talked me into demonstrating how a fat man can slide through a cable and zap out onto a comfy dog bed at Christmas.
Nope, she fed me some wonderful Christmas pastries and when I walked into the living room two cats were in the recliner and dogs had claimed the couches. The bed was empty, so -- and I got up quickly before someone drew a chalk outline around me. ….Oh, OK, would you buy this one?
 Martha knows some spells for the season. Other seasons, too. 
Don’t you like how I placed my left front paw for the photo? Yeah, I used to make extra money doing “Dogface Impressions” on the streets of downtown Dallas. The Notorious Cat Gang got exclusive rights from the city council, however, and I had to move on to the suburbs while the Cat Gang, after all these years, presents the annual ballet, “Puss ’n’ Boots & A Cowboy Hat” in downtown Dallas. It usually sells out in Fort Worth.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everybody who celebrates and appreciates this entire season. Remember to love the people you love, admire the people you admire and reflect their better values in your life. 
And, if you walk into your house and find a big bearded guy napping in front of your TV, trust me, I just tapped the wrong address on the Cable Transport Zap App on my phone. It was free.
[DEAR READERS: Thank you for stopping by readlarrypowell.com. Send photos of and info about your sleeping dogs, napping cats or relatives who came for the holidays and haven’t left to [email protected]. We'll celebrate the in our long-running feature Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap. Most of all, enjoy Christmas and your families and neighbors and people you haven’t seen for a while but long to talk to. And, of course, get some sleep — you’re gong to need it in 2023.]
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