Ah, Dear Readers, we've come to a weekend and, thus, aching for slumber, a post-Christmas/pre-2025 (already !!!)
chance to read new books and an opportunity to enjoy what normal people call a "nap."
I didn't nap when I was a baby, why should I start now, right? [LARRY NOTE: This is being written by me-- I gave the dogs and cats the weekend off.]
Also, as has been demonstrated in years of editions of Let Sleeping Dogs Lie & Napping Cats Nap, there are a number of surrogate sleepers in the household. I may not be able to whip insomnia, but I can depend on them to help fill the quota of naps required by the Internal Revenue Service Tax Form since The Dependents Bonus Act of 1948.
I'm kidding. But since cashing my first newsroom check in the mid-'60s, I would never have been surprised to wake and learn that slumber had become a taxable event in the U.S. I kid the government -- while I still can, of course. Taxing aside, "Happy New Year!" and let's examine some sleepers and nappers who support our weekend endeavor to remind people of the many joyous facets of dogs and cats and any other loving/beloved critter who knows how to nap.
It is important for my office staff to stay rested -- you never know when one of them -- stern dog or rapid cat -- be required to alertly snare a wandering comma. Now and then they'll be challenged to corral a dangling participle.
As this is being typed, my darling Personal Dog Porche Noel, wrapped up in her office duties, is out-like-a-light on her bed. [LARRY NOTE: For a while she flopped between my rug and her bed, then she got up and moved so that the angel on the back of the file cabinet could watch over her.]
Back to Dog-as-Editor information: You wouldn't think a dog would be able to use her nimble tail to edit a paragraph by quickly diagramming a sentence and barking the canine explanatory for a specific error by the off-the-beam writer: She narrows the lids on her right eye, looks up at me and gives off the six-desperate woofs code for "misplaced modifier." A human needs to be careful -- that's just two woofs from the dog bark code for "shred this and start over."
I hope my parade of English and Literature teachers know how careful I am with paragraphs, sentences, exclamations and spelling. Bless their frustrated hearts from the previous century.
Another educational note: When I started this edition, for some reason I asked, "Where did the word 'catnap' come from?" Bless those research genius robots at Google, the answer they have is the term "catnap" -- describing the cat nap tendency -- "became popular in the early 1800s." Ah, then there's this question "When was it first used in literature?" And some of you will recognize this source: "1916 in The Son of Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs."
Back to Senior Office Cat William Powell -- he may be a distant cousin to some of the tigers and other jungle cats used to film the Tarzan movies through the years. As you can tell in his photographs, even when he's asleep, he has quite the visible personality. That's him with his favorite Christmas lamp, the replica of the major award in the 1983 good-natured family film A Christmas Story.
William and Porche have been senior office staffers for quite some time. They offer comfort and joy and advice.
If you've never lived with a dog or a cat, then you may not fully understand the quality of advice and heart-felt, tender guidance you can get from a beloved canine or feline companion/advisor.
You think I'm kidding? Swear on a stack of ancient carbon paper that a bark or meow can translate into "Feed me and go back to work" in a matter of seconds and you'll find yourself inspired to finish the tale about the pro football team that swapped the team bus for two tackles and a running back and won the Super Bowl. Yeah, it's science fiction.
Cats have that sci-fi tendency. Dogs lean toward romantic poetry.
Here's one by Porche Noel:
Moon of adoration so bright but
I have no trouble to sleep
I nod off in the big bed
while the housedogs count sheep.
Lord knows what
those cats are counting.
-- Porche Noel, Poet Laureate of the American Office Dog Society (Name of Society pending since 2001).
Porche is sharpening her poetic skills, I've been told by Senior Office Cat & Literary Advisor William Powell.
That photograph with the glowing lights? That's a picture of our household pride: It's artisticspouse Martha's years-old creation of a chickenwire Christmas tree. Not everybody's house has one to display and light up before Christmas and, afterward, easily pick it up and put it away as the New Year approaches. It leaves no needles on the rug! [LARRY CONFESSION: I took the photograph and really loused up the coloring of the presentation -- no idea why there's and red-orange glow -- I type, you know, thus I'm continually out of focus visually and frequently may look up in the sky at night and see a drone or a flying baby with an intent look on his face and and a wide bit of warm winter gown that carries the phrase "HAPPY NEW YEAR 2025!" He'll throw me a cigar. Seeing all that depends on how much coffee I've had and what I've sweetened it with. Kidding about the additive.]
[DEAR READERS: Send the photos of your sleeping dogs, napping cats or slumbering "others," to [email protected] and tell us their stories. Readers will enjoy your tales of the animals you love. They have animals they love, too. We're in a community of good hearted animal fans. "God bless us everyone -- oops, quoted from the wrong holiday, but I'm not sure Dickens wrote a New Year's story. I'll check with William once he's done with his catnap.]
